ADD?

I love my son. He is beautiful and at times can be the sweetest and most charming kid I have ever seen....then there are other times.
He has a pretty normal life. He has a mom, dad and 2 sisters. Life started out pretty normally for him. When he was an infant he ate good, slept good, never fussed too much, overall he was very happy. He started walking and talking a little later then his sisters, but hey, boys take a little longer right? He still reached all of his milestones in good time. As a toddler, he was very active. Never sat still always running or climbing or jumping, pretty much a typical boy. Then I started to notice little differences. He would be a little louder, a little more tempermental. And if you made him mad he didn't care who you were, he would let you know. And crowds, not good. There is a show every March where businesses set up in the local high school gym and EVERYONE from town walks thru and checks it out. I have always loved to go and just spend the day walking around and his sister loved all the booths and the people, but every time I took him he freaked out. The first time he was a toddler and was just very fussy, then as he got older he would act out and it seemed he was deliberately doing whatever he could to get me to take him out of there. Then there is the carnival every summer, same problem. Circus, yep that too. I'm still not sure if it is the crowd or the noise or a mixture of both, but he just can't handle it. Now he is older and can communicate this better, he will just ask to leave. He gave away his wristband last year and left the carnival after only about an hour of rides.
He will still tell you what he thinks of you, no matter who you are. I try to think positive, it's good to have an opinion, but it seems he does not differentiate between different roles that people have in life. He will talk to a stranger like he would to me. He will tell them anything, ask them anything.
He also can't handle changes in routine. He likes to know what is coming and doesn't like changing from what he is used to. I know many kids are like this, but if we change stuff, sometimes small stuff that I don't even notice, his behavior goes downhill for days. Christmas and summer breaks are always hard the first few days home and the first few days back.
All of this together made me start to wonder, how much can be shrugged off as normal kid stuff, and how much is too much. How much of his behavior can he control and how much is beyond his control. I spent many hours debating over whether to get some professional advice or see if he grows out of it. Then he began kindergarten. Now his birthday is very late in the summer so we chose to start at 6, rather then 5 years old. He was academically ready at 5, but he needed a little extra time to develop socially so he was completely ready. It didn't take long before notes and phone calls started. He would tell the teacher he didn't want to do his work and had no problems telling them what he thought. But the thing that scared me the most was learning that he couldn't seem to get along with anyone, even the other kids. I realized that he played very well with another kid, if it was just them, but in a group he just couldn't get what to do or say and would always end up fighting with someone. His teacher mentioned that many times at recess he would just walk with her rather then go play.
I started to really struggle with the thought that we were doing something wrong. Were we not being strict enough with him? Were we too strict? And if it is something I am doing, why was his sister so well behaved, never got in trouble had a whole group of friends. I began talking to other moms, who would say I am doing it right, but it became harder to believe. Then one mom mentioned Aspergers, then another, finally after hearing it from a 3rd person, I made an appointment for the test. A whole afternoon of testing later, my husband and I sat down to hear that he did have many of the signs of Aspergers, but not quite enough. No, she said he has Attention Deficit Disorder and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. As we told her that his attention seems fine, she explained that it is more than just hyperactivity, there are different forms of ADD and his is more impulsive then hyperactive. The ADD leaves him with a feeling of loss of control, so to compensate, he takes control over the only thing he can, his behavior. So we began having him visit once a week with a psychologist who can help him work thru what is going on in his life. And we noticed a difference quickly. He loves going to see her and looks forward to it. But the behavior problems didn't disappear, he was still having issues in school so it was decided he needs to try some medication. We started with a small dose of a blood pressure medicine that is also used for ADD, and we got almost a month of this well behaved, caring boy that I always knew was in there, just waiting to get out! Then almost over night he began slipping backwards until it seemed he was having more problems then before the medication. So that brings us to where we are today. His teacher says he is so incredibly intelligent, he should be way ahead of where he is in school, he just won't let himself get there. He won't do what's needed of him to get ahead. After school is a constant battle to get chores done and to just listen to me until dinner is ready. Now he will sit perfectly still and not say a word all afternoon....if I set him by the TV, but I just can't do that. I want him to stay active and help around the house. I don't want Spongebob babysitting. So I turn it off and fight him to get everything done, sometimes all afternoon. So, tomorrow he is supposed to begin his first dose of an actual stimulant ADD medication..and I am scared to death!! Will it work? Will he get better or worse? Is it really necessary? I am so worried about what it will or won't do to him, but I just feel I have to try. I have to do everything I can to try to make sure he is happy. That is how any parent feels. And I know he is not happy, I see how sad he is and I know he is trying. So we will try this in the morning and I will spend my day waiting and worrying and hoping for the best.